Life Goes On
by skye3
Summary: There were a lot of things that Meredith wished didn't happen. But there were also a lot of things that she was grateful for. Quick post S6 finale oneshot. MerDer.


**A/N: This takes place a little more than a year after the S6 finale. Just a quick little something. Tell me what you think. =)**

**Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy? Nope. Not mine.**

Meredith wished everyday was like today because today had been perfect. It was actually more than perfect, if there was such a thing. She had spent half the day in bed, sleeping with her arms and legs tangled with Derek's, or making love with her wonderful husband. They finally rolled out of bed when her stomach demanded for some sustenance. Derek teased her endlessly about it all throughout lunch but that was okay because some days, she would do the same to him, teasing him about some weird quirk he had or about how long he would spend in the bathroom fixing his hair to perfection. After lunch, they cuddled up on the couch watching reruns of Friends. And when the sun started setting, they headed out.

She can't believe how perfect it turned out, their house. At that time, when Derek had told her that he felt that it was time to start building, she had been excited. And talking about the details had been fun. A lot of day offs were spent looking through different house designs and stuff. But then two weeks after they broke ground, Derek got shot. Meredith thought that her world would end then. She almost lost the love of her life. And she was so glad that he pulled through. She didn't really believe in God, but that day, she had prayed and asked Him to please let her husband live. And Derek had kept his promise, he didn't die. And she was grateful, really, except she was also angry. As she sat beside Derek's bed, holding his had tight between hers, she was angry at Mr. Clarke. That mad man destroyed her hospital, he almost killed her husband, he killed people that she worked with, he killed...he killed her baby.

"Hey." Derek whispered, wrapping his arms around her as they sat on the front porch. "You okay?"

"Yeah." She sniffed, snuggling closer to his warmth.

"You sure?" He asked as he kissed her cheek. Meredith sighed. Sometimes, she hated that he knows her too well.

"I just...I miss him, sometimes."

Derek remained silent, not sure if he knew who she was talking about. She must have sensed his confusion so she continued.

"Baby. I'm...I'm talking about our baby."

"Mer..."

"No, I'm...just...in that short period when he was still there, it felt different. I mean he was inside me and...just, he was there." Meredith shook her head, not knowing how to explain that feeling of knowing that somebody was growing inside of her. Somebody that she and Derek had made.

"I'm sorry, Mer." Derek hugged her tighter.

"I know." She said and turned around and burried her face in his chest. Her eyes welled up but no tears fell from them. "And I've accepted it. I just really miss him sometimes. And sometimes, my head would just go there, you know? Like how he would've had your perfect hair, and how he would have those chubby cheeks like I did and stuff." She giggled at the end, having this image of a perfect baby in her head. And just like that, the mood became lighter.

"Yeah?" Derek chuckled.

"Yeah."

"And then he'd be making these noises like...crazy talk, because he's chatty like you."

"Or because he's rambling."

Meredith glared at him, but Derek didn't miss the playful glint in her eyes. He laughed and gave her a kiss.

"So he would have been a 'he?"

"Yes." She nodded like she knew it for sure.

"Okay." He laughed.

"And I think he would have been a lot like you."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, I mean, he was still a fetus but he already had the schedule thing down."

"Schedule thing?"

"Yeah," she looked away from him, suddenly becoming uneasy because she hadn't told him about this yet. They had spent hours talking about the miscarriage, crying for their loss and comforting each other, but she had never told him that she had spent almost an entire week denying to herself that she had morning sickness. "I was throwing up every 10 am, every morning, like clockwork."

Derek started to laugh but then stopped. "Every morning? You...Meredith, how long-"

Meredith shook her head. "Just...about a week."

Derek ran a hand across his face. "How did I not know about this?"

"You were really busy that week. We almost didn't see each other if you didn't page me every 48 hours." She smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

"That's not-"

"Hey, it's okay. It's in the past."

Derek looked at her and she was smiling, hopeful. There were traces of sorrow in her eyes but mostly, happy. And in that moment, he loved her a little bit more.

"Meredith." He whispered and kissed her, his hands moving to tangle with her hair. "I love you." He said when they broke apart.

"I love you too." She smiled at him. "So much." She said, giving him a little squeeze for emphasis. Her life hadn't been perfect. But moments like these make it worth living. There were a lot of things that Meredith wished didn't happen. But there were also a lot of things that she was grateful for. And Derek being alive is on the top of that list. And being here, in their almost finished house, cuddling on the front porch, was perfect.

**-End-**


End file.
